Warnings: Implied domestic abuse
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own anything you find familiar.
Notes: I'm determined to write something for every comm in Intercomm but this was very hard to do and ridiculously far out of my comfort zone so apologies if I'm way off the mark with characterisations. Beta'd by the very reasonable robinfanatic .
Summary: There must be a reason...
The more she tried to find a reason - and there must be one, surely - the more she could not escape the conclusion that it was her fault.
He had hardly changed since that first time she met him while she had grown taller and her body had thinned in some places, swelled in others. While the other men of the town cast more and more admiring glances her way he seemed less and less interested in her with each passing month.
At first she had been blissfully happy. Any fears of being left with a man she hardly knew had vanished with his attention and tenderness towards her. Nothing was too much trouble for his "beautiful child", as he called her.
But then he had lost money in a bad business deal, there had been a fire at a storehouse and despite all her best efforts the seed he had planted within her had withered and died. The wise woman had said she was just too young and frail to carry a child. She tried to reassure him that once she had grown a little, they would have better luck with the next one - but he had stopped believing in luck.
What he believed in now was anger. Anger got results. Anger let him feel in control. He raged against the world and brought it back under his heel again. But he could not bring back the lost child - or the child that had become the failed mother - and that was her fault.
So he stayed angry and then he came to need the anger, even when he did not necessarily have a focus for it. At times like that she wished she wore the drab plain dresses of the servants that allowed them to melt into the background, instead of the vivid colours she was richly clothed in, colours repeated underneath her fine dresses.
But unlike her rapidly ageing and still frail body and apart from his occasional flashes of fury, nothing else about him had really changed. He could still be tender, his body still responded to her. She knew he still loved her - he told her so each time - and once he no longer needed the anger, once she managed to give him a child, she hoped he would forgive her and things could return to how they had once been.
Was that so unreasonable?